Random song lyrics

cleaning the house, listening to music, and I heard some really positive song lyrics.

so many times you did not bring this on your self, when that moment finally comes, I'll be there to help.

when you simply need a place to make your bed, right here underneath my wing, you can rest your head.

hope and pray that you never need me, but rest assured I will not let you down.I walk beside you but you may not see Me, the strongest among us may not wear a crown.

on that day when you don't have the strength for the burden you bear, I will be right here.

there are no words

there are no words that truly express how I am feeling, so lost, so much like a failure, ready for things to turn around. I want to be happy again, I want to stop hurting. its been a very very long day and I am ready for it to be over...

words and their meanings

this morning has already been a challenge, lots of random thought going through my head. Thinking about decisions I need to make and how I am going to be able to make them, if I am going to be able to make them. So as usuall I have music turned on, and on comes this song I heard 1000 times listened to the words, but today somehow it was different. Maybe it was my mood, maybe it was just timing, but it really struck me to my core.

"don't dream to far, don't loose site of who you are"
"Every so offen we long to steal to the land of what might have been, but that doesn't soffen the ach we feel when reality sets back in."
"don't wish, don't start, wishing only wounds the heart. I wasn't born for the rose and the perl."

I felt I needed to post this somthing to reflect on later.

Difficult words

Lately I have found it hard to write in here. I feel like a hypocryt. I got everything I asked for and fucked it up. Now, I am having issues picking myself up learning from my mistakes. Its somthing so easy to visualize, but I have never seemed to take into account the crippeling effect of the emotion that comes with failure.

I heard somthing the other day about my sign, and it struck me to my core. I heard someone say, Aquarius, their phrase is "I know" you never have to tell them anything because they know. I looked at my life and immeadetly began having flashbacks of when that was exactly the case.
This is not who I want to be...

I am listening to that song again, "just be" makes me cry EVERY time. So much I want to change. I hate myself for some of the stuff I have done recently. I ask how I got here, the reality is that I got here one step at a time, and that is exactly how I am going to have to get to the next place. Sounds so easy.... all you have to do is get up off the floor and start walking, somthing that seems so impossible now.

I know you read this, and I want to say to you, that I am sorry, for everything. I am also sorry you could never tell me how you felt, and I wish every day that you didn't have to "deal with me" like you have. I thought I could, and now wish there was somthing I could do to help you, but I think that may be the cause of the pain...

random...

To whom it may concern,

I'm not a perfect person. Theres many things I wish I didn't do, but I continue learning. I never ment to do those things to you and so I have to say before I go. That I just want you to know. I found a reason for me, to change who I used to be, a reason to start over new, and the reason is you.

I 'm sorry that I hurt you, its somthing I must live with every day, and all the pain I put you through, I wish I could take it all away, and be the one who catches all your tears, thats I need you to hear, I found reason for me, to change who I used to be, a reason to start over new, and the reason is you. The reson is you.