<% Function showtwitter() On Error Resume next howmannyposts = 7 url = "http://twitter.com/statuses/user_timeline/15436552.rss" set xmlhttp = CreateObject("MSXML2.ServerXMLHTTP") xmlhttp.open "GET", url, False xmlhttp.send "" myvar = xmlhttp.responseText myvar2 = split(myvar, "") myvar3 = split(myvar2(1), "", -1, 1) myjoin = Join(myvar3, VbCrLf) myvar3 = Split(myjoin, "tazicus:") myubound = ubound(myvar3) myuboundreal = myubound If myubound > howmannyposts Then myubound = howmannyposts counter = 1 loopcounter = 1 Do Until loopcounter = myubound myloopvar = Split(myvar3(counter), "<description>") mydatevar = Split(myvar3(counter), "<pubDate>") mydatevar1 = Split(mydatevar(1), "</pubDate>") mydate = mydatevar1(0) myloopvar1 = Split(myloopvar(1), "</description>") mymessage = Split(myloopvar1(0), "tazicus:") mymessagetemp = mymessage(1) mysplitdate = Split(mydate, " ") workingtime = mysplitdate(4) myyear=mysplitdate(3) mymonth=mysplitdate(2) myday=mysplitdate(1) If mymonth = "Jan" Then mymonth = 1 End If If mymonth = "Feb" Then mymonth = 2 End If If mymonth = "Mar" Then mymonth = 3 End If If mymonth = "Apr" Then mymonth = 4 end if If mymonth = "May" Then mymonth = 5 end if If mymonth = "Jun" Then mymonth = 6 end if If mymonth = "Jul" Then mymonth = 7 end if If mymonth = "Aug" Then mymonth = 8 end if If mymonth = "Sep" Then mymonth = 9 end if If mymonth = "Oct" Then mymonth = 10 end if If mymonth = "Nov" Then mymonth = 11 end if If mymonth = "Dec" Then mymonth = 12 end if mydate = mymonth & "/" & myday & "/" & myyear & " " & workingtime mydate = CDate(mydate) mydate = mydate - .29166666 mydiff = DateDiff("d", mydate, now()) If mydiff > .9 Then mydiff = mydiff & " days ago" Else mydiff = DateDiff("h", mydate, now()) If mydiff > .9 Then mydiff = mydiff & " Hours ago" Else mydiff = DateDiff("n", mydate, now()) If mydiff > .9 Then mydiff = mydiff & " Minutes ago" Else mydiff = DateDiff("s", mydate, now()) If mydiff > .9 Then mydiff = mydiff & " Seconds ago" End If End If End If End If mytestmessage = split(mymessage(1), "http") myubound1 = ubound(mytestmessage) if left(mytestmessage(0), 2) <> " @" then if myubound1 > 0 then myvariable = myvariable & mytestmessage(0) & " <a href=" &Chr(34) & "http"& mytestmessage(1) & Chr(34) & ">http"&mytestmessage(1) & "</a>"& "<br>" & mydiff & "<br><br>" else myvariable = myvariable & mytestmessage(0) & "<br>" & mydiff & "<br><br>" end if loopcounter = loopcounter + 1 else End if counter = counter + 1 Loop Response.Write myvariable End Function %> <html xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml" xml:lang="en" lang="en" dir="ltr"> <head> <title>Dave, a self portrait in words

Thursday, September 25, 2008

the need to be needed

I was just sitting here thinking how we all need to be needed, how we all want to feel that someone wants us around. How when we leave a relationship, we fear that we may never find another one, another someone who will need and want us, another someone that will love us. For me it is espically hard, because there have not been many people in my life that I have bonded with, shared who I am with, and really felt close to. I know this is my doing, but I think it makes it that much harder to let someone go. I have created a special place in my heart for the select few that have really known me, and I am not sure there is any way to remove that, and if there was what kind of person would I be if I did?

when those people we love find other people to love, it feels like we die just a little inside, as the final pieces we cling to of still being needed fade. Its never an easy thing, and I often wish that the pain could just go away, that I could just be ok. I hide alot of my pain, inside where I think it is safe from causing issue for other people, its hard for me to let it out without going overboard. The truth is, I think I am glad that there is pain, I am glad that I hurt. because it reminds me that I am alive, I am a person participating in the human race, and that my feelings are real, and that I truly am capable of love, and worth being loved. that what I felt then, through the mistakes, and poor choices, was real, and that it ment somthing, and that even if it were for a short time, I made a difference in some elses life, ocasionally made them smile, maybe even made them feel warm and fuzzy from time to time.

doesn't make it any eaiser though, doesn't make it hurt less. it does let me see how deeply I really do love though, and that the love is powerful, and effects the world around me. I long to find love that will last forever, I look to the future with hope in who I am now, and will become, thatI am and w people will see me for who ant to be close, that I can make people laugh for the rest of my days, that I can love so deep that 2 become as 1...

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posted by Dave at 6:22 PM 0 Comments