saturday's activities

OK.. Well.. its been a long day, its almost 2am sunday morning, I have to be up by like 8 so go to the show, and I am just now in the hotel room for the night...

Other than some random drama which has no bearing on this entrie, its been a pretty good day. I made it down to see my friend K she was not quite ready to go, so I just vegged for a little while. once she was ready, we went over and had what I think is the best chicken ravoli I have ever had, at a resturant near her house. I mean it was OUT OF THIS WORLD.

After the heavenly food, we headed down to newport so that I could pick up some sprinkles (cupcakes mentioned before) when we got there, K asked me if I wanted to go to the "doggie bakery" when she said that, I said yes just so I could see this place.. LOL once inside I couldn't resiste getting gizmo some a couple treats. I am betting he will like them. While we were there, I got a message from Mark a friend of mine who said that it would be cool if I would stop by and see him. He also mentioned that my other friend Paul was in from San Fran, that he was also there.

Mark works for disney, and since I had a pass I thought "why not" once I was there and parked, and in the park. I got a message saying that he was working in the hotel (this is not where he normally works lol) so I had to truck almost all the way back to the car to get to the hotel. we said hi, exchanged a few words. I mentioned my phone was WAY dead and I needed to go get a charger for it. He said he was off work at 6 and that I should come back and we could find paul and watch the fireworks. This sounded like a cool Idea to me so I left to go find a charger.

Once I found a charger I had about an hour to kill so I drove around wiht my phone plugged into the car, and I went to where I used to work. (about 30-40 minutes form disney) I sat in the parking lot there, and thought about how things used to be. How they were when I worked there. How young I was, how much different I thought about thing. I got pretty emotional, think about everything that had happened since then. I decided to drive back to Disney, on my way I was still really emotional.. I sent a text message that I realize now that I should not have. LIve and learn I guess.

I got back to the park, got the car parked and started walking toward the park. Mark said that he would be a little late, so I figured I would wander around the park for a while. after about 20 minutes or so, I looked at my phone and it became clear that it did not take much of a charge while in the car. I tried resetting it as I had in the past with no luck, after about an hour or so in the park, people watching for the most part, I got a message from Mark saying that we should meet at the little bar they have at the hotel.

I got to the bar, there were no tables So I wandered around a little my phone beeped, and died. (again) I watched the remotecontrol boats, and the smiles on the kids faces that were getting such pleasure from raming them into one another. As I wandered around, I saw someone what I SWORE was my friend paul. As I got closer, it was clear that it WAS him... he was looking at a menu, i looked over his sholder and asked if he found anything good? he turned around initally with a look that said somthing to the effect of "who the hell said that" then he saw it was me, and his expression turned into "OMG" wollowed by HOW the heck are ya.

we caught up a little, each ordered a drink, a table opened up and we sat down to talk and wait for mark. another hour or so passed, I don't know what time it was since my phone was dead, I do know it was dark out by this time thought.

We went into the park, watched the fireworks, and then fantasmic. By this time it was pretty late, and I was starving. I mentioned food, it was agreed that we should eat. jack in the box here we come.. LOL.. after eating I parted company, plugged in my phone, turned it on, and here I am, falling asleep at the keyboard back at my hotel at 2am. When I did get back here, I noticed that all the parking spots were filled with really nice VW's that made me happy to see.

SOOO tired its time for me to sleep.

Unexpected late night

*written earlier and post-dated*

ok so.. ended up being at work till like 1am... was not real excited about that, had a failure with one of the servers here. so My coworker "chris" and I were here late... the good news is that its all up and going now... I am NOT going to go into work tomarrow though, with all the stuff I still need to do in order to be ready...

ug... sleep...

thoughts....

laying here in the dark not knowing what to do, I find myself taking some of my own advice and putting the eletronic pen to paper. As a people we have alot of different kinds of relationships in a life time. Friends, lovers, realitives, co-workers, just common aquantances. Each of these relationships has their own set of rules that they tend to follow, nothing that may be set as formal rules, but rules none the less. you would not sleep with a realitive, and you would not invite a common aquantiance to a family gathering for example... I have said for a long time now that a relationship is defined by the people who participate in it.

Tonight I find myself thinking about what happens when a relationship moves outside the definition that they people who are participatants have given to it. Are there given consiquences? should there be? or like the relationship should it be worked out by those same people who are the participatants. This is an angle that I have not thought about until recently. I never even considered what would happen if the definition that was agreed upon by the people in it was violated. I can't even say why I never thought about it, I guess at the time it was a theory, somthing I had not tested, so I didn't have the experience to think about that angle. This is a different perspective for me. Thoughts like "for every action there is an equal and oppisite reaction" and "an eye for an eye" have crossed my mine when thinking about it. I think that the worst part is, once there is an agreement on what a relationship is and that is violated, can there still be trust? whats to say no matter how the rules for the relationship are changed, that they will be adhered to the second, third, or 37th time??

Today has been.... well it has just been.. I think that I will no longer have to work on B's Grand national, and furthermore if tonight is any indication, I will never have to speak to him again..... I really don't understand people. As much as I thought I might have, it is constently pointed out to me how clueless I really am. yet... no matter how many times I get kicked, or knocked down in life, I seem to keep standing up as if to almost say "AGAIN!".... leaves me wondering why sometimes... why do I keep trying?? I think that the best answer is in some of the things that I have written. That I truly believe that I never know what the next great thing is that might be just around the corner, that I try so very hard to remain positive about as many things as I can... no matter how hard it might be some time. Even through the times where I just want to crawl under a rock and hide... I don't... I try to stay out there, to smile, to be readdy for the next swing someone is going to take at me... To lead by example...

The more I think about it today was really backwards day, all the things I have been stressing about ended up really kinda nice today, and the things that I didn't or wasn't stressed out about all jumped up and attempted to taked a big bite out of me.

There is alot more that I have to say, this post it already to long and I need more time to sit and think anyway... I may post again about this.

Late night random thoughts

ramdom thoughts... I sent loren a text message this weekend, after I pushed send I reliezed how several small words could hold so much meaning. I still have times when I feel like there is a key piece of my life that is missing. Like that missing puzzle piece that you can't find no matter how hard you look... no matter what pieces that you find, none seem to fit the way that you feel they should. I think that tomorrow I will think some about some goals, things that are able to be accomplished, things that will help me become a better person.... listening to some sappy music tonight... prolly not the best idea, but sometimes its good to just cry...

wow, I think thats all I can say

sometimes I forget what all is in my journal... I have reached july 2006 where my grandfather passed away, and I just can't make it past here... tears running down my face, I am a blubbering iddiot... this is a feeling I know I need to have, but also is so difficult. I think I am gonna call it wuits for the evening and go home... maybe I will write more tomarrow, and move more of my journal here.