relationships

Sitting at work talking to people, I talked to rich, we seem to have really deep conversations when we really get to talking. We started talking about people prefences and what they liked, this lead to talking about how gay men are pretty easy to lead. If that makes sense how you can chat with someone and the more you talk the more it appears that their opinion and preferences changes. I think it has to do with wanting to be accepted and spending so much time being things that we are not, essentially lying to our selves. It gets to the point where it is second nature and we don’t even realize its happening. We talked about how small of a community it actually was. Especially in PHX. This lead to a point where we talked about relationships and how we try to mold ourselves and our relationships to what our parent’s relationships were. It obviously will never work I mean hello we are gay… we need to form our own opinions and what we want from a relationship. I see my self doing it all the time. Looking for what my parents had. Because that is what I grew up with… what I felt comfortable with. In the end it comes down to relationships are defined by the people that are in them. Anyone who is in a relationship should tell people who choose to judge to piss off. Cause it is none of their business anyway.

I think that this was the ultimate cause my last relationship failing, we both had hang ups. Molding our lives and relationships after our parents. You get to a point where you sub consciously sabotage your relationships because they are not perfect. The truth being that the only perfect relationship is that one where the two people have figure out what they want and need and have found a way to get the most that they can, and be happy. Sounds a little more complicated when I put it that way. I don’t think a relationship has to be hard or something that you have to work out, once you have the communication established. That’s the tough part, getting to that point. I have found the sad thing is, that the communication usually comes after the relationship has dissolved and the people have a chance to talk open and honestly.

A priceless quote from a friend of mine… “The problem is that people learn things at different times” what a perfect way to put it…